Everyday Boundaries

Hopefully after last lesson, you understand more clearly what a boundary is, the different forms boundary violations can take, and how to spot the difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries. The next step on your journey to healthy boundary-setting is to identify areas in your life that may be improved with the setting of boundaries . We will refer to these as warning signs , since they warn us that a boundary needs to be set, or a boundary is being violated.     Resentment – Is there a relationship in your life that every time they call you, approach you, or ask you for something you immediately become defensive, and try to find an excuse to say no before they even finish asking the question?  Feeling like the victim – Do you find yourself complaining to others about how so-and-so “made” you do something, or find yourself thinking how they will impose on your time and space next?    Feeling disrespected or undervalued – Is there someone in your...

Defining a Boundary Do you have a problem saying  “ no ”  to people?    Do you feel like you are constantly overextending yourself? Are you known as the " yes"   girl or guy in your friend group?     This is what a boundary issue looks like.  You may be asking yourself, why do I relate to the statements above?  This is specific to each person. However, it does have to do with how  your  current boundaries have   been shaped .     Many  people don’t understand what a boundary is  or what they look like . Because of this,  there  are  a few  common misconceptions. Let’s do a quick survey t o better understand the  myths and the facts regarding boundaries.  As you do, t hink about h ow  you currently define  a boundar y.      Now that we know what a boundary is not, let's give you a basic definition with the "fence" analogy: Can you think of a time in your ...